35

So for my 35th Birthday I made a nerve racking decision to wear a swimsuit. I’ve never ever since like 12 years of age since I’ve been hiding any of my body, for good reasons.

Not only because of the voice that installed a broken record of all that’s wrong with me. My mom said a lot of mean things that left me feeling like some hideous freak. Sadly these are her feeling not my baggage anymore. Fat scowly face, fat little bitch, you make me angry just looking at you, you tub of guts, stupid face dumb like your retarded father, your a burden, always willl be, look at those legs like moose knees,,, you have a dog cone of fat around that fat face, gross, .. it never ended. I have wore long sleeve shirts a full pants in 40 degree heat to hide this abnormalfreak plus I couldn’t let anyone see the cuts, the layers of raver blades over my skin.

Well I said the moment I saw my daughters perfect face I had never seen any prettier oft more perfect a human than that a girl. Then everyone began saying my daughter was mommy’s twin. I looked at the most gorgeous happyperky baby girls face and right then I said I will not pass down that curse. I will not destroy my body or say any more unflattering g things. I see that cute face watching my every move, her makeup routines, all womanly things she’s counting on from me, those eyes love me. So I will love me too

I’m not a model I’m her role model.

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