Come over & rub mommies back

My mom would commonly have back pain and cramps In Her bum area like little soft marbles. I remember hearing sunny come in and make mommies back feel better. I hated massaging my mom with that baby oil. She’d remove all her clothing as to not stain her clothing g and bra she told me. She’d hop into the middle of the bed, hug a pillow layi g face down. The click of the flip cap meant she was ready for her run down. She squeezes the oil over her shoulder and is ran across her back. “Common now sunny moms back hurts taking after you all day, now come take care of your dear old mom”. The oil was warm as it took m a bit to touch her every time I hesitated. I place both my hands on her shoulders full of sticky oil I slowly squeezed her back “oh she’d grunt and moan “what a good girl, this makes me feel tingly and better. I’d rub and do as directed. Up, down, harder, faster but one thing I hated but knew if she’d asked for it it was gonna happen or I’d not be talked to pretend to not see me it was so silent and made my mind so sad I took temporary awkward for weeks of awkward silence, food thrown on the table bare minimum.

Sun can you do mommy bum, I’m so tense. I put my hands around her lower back and used my thumbs to start, hoping she’d fall asleep quickly depending on what she was taking as self medication. Moms bum was a larger soft bottom and the kneeling pressure required I sit legs over her back like a saddle position. “Your so good sunny, feels so good” always groaning in pleasure. Sunny can you give mommy e finger? Please mommas girl. As I sat on her saddle form her partially nude I’d drag my finger tips in a back and forth whisper touch to her skin. Moms skin would just tighten with goosebumps and she’d shiver. “That makes me feel so good. Keep going.

Some nights this very uncomfortable massage & tickle last a hour and I could leave sometimes it was her arms while on her back running them over her head, her feet and calves had to be rubbed down it felt like forever, she’d either ask you to go, fall asleep or cuddle me. Just open the blanket and wrapped me up into her arms. Mom would always sniff my hair for oddly long time and then cuddling into me like I was her childhood bear. She’d let my hair, running her fingers over my forehead back, those long nails. Pet & sniff till she finally gave into the old morphine at that time. I always felt so fucking gross, I’d watch the tiny black and white tv over her back and do it. I said no once. She cried hysterically and scollded me on being selfish. I was always selfish, ungrateful, disgusting, fat miserable face, scowl on that ugly fat ass. She would never buy me a starter bra and yes because I’m a naturally curvy person as a going girl I had little breast, I was tortured that summer by the classic fat weird kid flipping my tits, nick mamed tits. It was so unpleasant.

So the massages continued till I left and even when I visited her 10 years ago she asked me to come lay in bed with her & her creepy husband. I sat on the edge but they kept patting imbetween. I refused and well I was not invited back. See if you anger my mother you will pay the price as she’s going to do something g to you or around you. I live with this. These are my bed time stories.

I’m very sad today

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