My brain at this point is rumbling with emotions. I can only best describe a feeling, not a easy thing to do cause if you have not felt it how do I make you feel it?

When I’m in this form of mental relapse it’s a Gymboree of chaos inside ping pong balls in a padded room no one hears the feelings if they did I’d sound like some god awful heavy metal band, no one wants to feel that or be near it, yucky feeling, we don’t like that so I stuff em in tight so they can pop around colliding making new feeling like pissed-happy sure. Oh maybe sad bumps lonely, perfect lump of chest tightness,, on and one they go.

Living these episodes are incredibly exhausting feeling so much, at times the rage and tantrums really wear at ya.

My beautiful brain is like a bingo roll cage all stuffed with feelings. Each ball is a emotion there they sit quietly for months, years then the hand of my disease reaches out and begins to turn that cage. Fast, faster, the chittering cage rolls those balls until one drops. What feeling is going to escape?

Sssssssssunk… B6, broken heart beaten with sticks..

Chitter chitter the chaos and rotation like a emotion tornado

Sssssssssshunk… N11 a ball of tears. Well ain’t that fun to randomly drop a feeling out of my spinning mind with little warning.

A public sweat fest or cry over coffee yesterday always leaves s impression on orhers.

That’s the best way I can describe these episodes and at the point I’m so so over it.

Round and round we go what kinda out burst will you bestow

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