Normal is what You experience on a regular basis this making children raised in Disfunctional enviriments have no idea that what they are experiencing is not ok. ive had many light bulb moments that I recognize this. This particular common activity we did with our mom was to spend several nights a month and sometimes several nights a week. Thursday nights were the hardest luring up all night made getting to school really hard. Dad worked all the time most my memories of dad home was of him sleeping, jo wonder he worked his hands raw. Just as soon as the cheques were cashed it was spent on useless yard sale junk that would be put out to the curb by years end. As I got older dad didn’t come home most nights that he could. Many nights he slept in his truck now I know it wasn’t to avoid me but to not fight. Other nights he’d go out for beers with the boys after work. This drove mom absolutely insane.
First it was waiting up all night watching for lights crying then it was to full night steak outs. Bear our home there is was a brothel or as we called it Tge whore house. It was one of the sporting lodges in our areas turned into bar and sex services. Many local girls and a few that were my school mates that dropped out to live tgat lifestyle. Every day there was cars in the parking lot many claimed to only go for the beer and games but we all knew different. Many locals obviously frequented the whore house as their vehicles were there a lot. Now I can say not once was dads truck ever seen there and the paranoid behaviour was well paranoid therefore all common sense is gone just the thoughts that brewed a delusion. This had become moms obsession for years. Every time dad didn’t come home and after all her calls to stores, garages turn up no dad she began to be certsin she could catch dad in the act. At this time we had a black cavalier we’d all get in grab our homework and Walkmans cause the nights got long. She would drive down to the whore house but take the road just before the driveway it led to a tall grassy field behind the whore house. Lights off shed drive in and park in The darkest spot. She would smoke one cigarette after another making that weird noise while inhaling just watching. Waiting She had this piece of wood beside the consil so if she did finally catch him she’d come on to him, we’d seen that many times the physical fights. Not allowed to talk or make noise we sat there sometimes till the sun came up not once did she break watch. Eventually you’d see dads truck go by on his way home and shed race right up on him screaming and honking flipping her lights it was intense driving so reckless on a deer populated country logging road racing like a movie chase.. They’d roll into the driveway instantly out and fighting. Mom would hit dad so many times kicking and screaming. Dad was drunk and couldn’t stay on his feet too well and if he dropped shed lay the loots right to him, the car headlights lit up a jerry Springer show. It was so normal to us we’d just go in around the brawl to bed. It became really scary as mom began talking to us about hiring a man that was known for his stints in jail just a rough ticket, she was planning on seeing if he’d kill dad make it a accident. I remember feeling real fear. Could she? Would she? Or was this some fantasy. She claimed that he’d do it for five thousand. Is it true I doubt it greatly but as a teen and afraid seeing her in these states it seemed awful possible.
Another Saturday night.