The Flames

imageMost people will never experience a home fire in their lives.  It’s so rare that when these horrible incidents occur it makes local news.  Misfortune and loss is not a unfamiliar feeling experienced in life but to have the same tragedy happen twice that’s similar to being struck by lightening twice.  When I was three years old our trailer caught fire in the middle of a winters night as we all slept inside.  I was told that our dog barked and woke up dad, when he woke he saw the flames wrapping around tithe ceiling in the small trailer.  We were on the other side past The door and the raging flames dad without thought ran into the fire and grabbed us out of the crib as he ran to get out his hair burned he made it out and when he got out singed hair mom was just standing outside watching the fire.  Such a big loss for a young couple living in poverty.  They never really got back on their feet.  I only have a small memory of holding onto teddy Rupskein over dads shoulder running.  As a kid the thought of fire was terrifying.

Many odd incidents happened over the years could just be a couple on the down side of luck, hard times it’s what country songs are based on.  It was July and so hot!  My uncle had just died in a tragic car accident shortly after I found out I failed highschool because I missedcway too much time, home in my room keeping you company cause you were too sad to get out of bed and the non stop threats of suicide terrorized me.  I could never leave it do anything without coming home to you high and unstable crying like a infant, my fault!  Always my fault.

I remember very clearly getting ready to go to town and watch s movie with a friend.  I was going to drop my little sister off at her boyfriends home.  We got ready sat together at the kitchen table and got all gussied up, pretty for our dates.  We jumped in my car and ripped out the driveway spinning The stones, always felt free driving away.  We stopped at the he ing to grab a snack and drink I just reached into th cooker and I heard my friend call my name, I worked at the Irving after school for years so everyone knew me.  I turned around and I remember those words and that look oncstaceys face.  Your house is on fire!  I remember running to the car and driving right through the lights a 45 minute drive was done in 15 minutes.  The up river road to home was small, twisty and full of wildlife no one would dare speed long these roads way to many logging trucks hogging the lines.  I don’t remember that drive well but as I rached Tge hill I saw those flames high above the trees that black smoke filled the air handing in the mountains bosom.  I jumped out the car and as I ran past all those cars parked behind the fire truck I saw the house. Nothing would be saved the house was seconds from collapsing.  The air was sucked from my lungs as my knees hit the dirt.  I feel arms around my back it was a friend.  I just gazed Into the flames and as they roared the memories flashed. I see my mom she’s standing outside watching the house burn smoking with no expression.  She was wearing nothing but a tiny lace night feeds with everything showing, inappropriate as always. Always embarassed by her wardrobe always breasts out and booty skirts even though you do not have a very nice image wearing it, like prostitue outfits.  So embarrassing.  There you stood nothing.  As Tge structure collapses into the basement I hear people talking about you running up and down the road half dressed screaming.  You said you couldn’t even call for help, really?  Your story was you took a sleeping pi and left the gifty grease in the olen stove flame.  So you said you didn’t have a problem?  Really?  Your standing naked high as shit clueless.  How does this happen twice?

The fire department continues to drown the flames I just watched.  Then i saw him walking up the road towards me.  Why was he here?  You couldn’t call for help yet he was here from two towns over. He takes me pulling towards the green car he drove.  I sat down and he buckled me in.  We sat there just breathing no words the years pouring down my face.  He turns and hands me a small black box.  As I creek it open I see this besutiful diamond cut two Caret single stone ring, absolutely gorgeous.  I wanted to vomit at the sight of it sparkle, not him.  I sit head down as he says ” put it on we will be married soon as of now we live together as a couple” We drive down that hill I looked out the back window, it was all gone, I had no home, no voice no choices.

Now how does this happen twice?

 

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