Days before highschool graduation I found out I would not be apart of 2001’s graduating class. My boyfriend and boss was embarassed to say the least. Despite the fact I was in a deep depression and knew I was failing classes, missing even more because my mithet needed me home as she fell apart herself, yet another spell of annoying crying, over anyone and everything. Always about her, her feelings, her marriage, her disease, her losses her sacrifice, the old I should have just had abortion rants. The days spent in bed curled up smelling like shit watching tv yet belting out orders. Of course my school work was failing I was beinh ridden raw without any opinion and my mother was a mess, again! Every single corner I took was shit!
I had the night off or so I thought I decided to go to a grad party by the river. I could certainly go for a good bender., let the games begin. A few of us continuously passed The bottle around, ideas and opinions flying it was a good evening. I walked home I knew it was from ditch to ditch but I got there. Crashed on the couch with a bucket I slept.
“riiiiing” I flew up from my drunken stoned deep snoring drooling sleep. I answered to the Devils voice dictating me to meet him at such and such location. Now! Get dressed! Click! I rushed around jumped in my 83 Purple Lada. As I pull up to the potatoe field I saw the truck upside down. The fire smouldering as the fire fighters cooled it’s anger. He stood there creepy as ever with disapproval of me. I failed every time I saw him. I knew when we got home I was going to be punished. Constant fear of him keft me like a dog about to piss tails between my legs. I stand next to him. He gives me a bag and flashlight. I need you to walk around and retrieve the head. I wanted to barf. I wked in my patten heels and skirt up and over those mushy morning potatoe fields Heels like pitchforks holding my balance. I knew at any time tgat light would find a human head. The smell of burning flesh filled the dewy air, taste of burnt chicken. theres the head! I bend forward placing my hands on the back of the skull pulling ing the hair from the mud. I looked into those eyes to see the fire burning behind me. I gently place the head in a bag. I gain my composure before turning around, no emotions is the job. Together with the emergency team and coroner we removed the body the burnt peeling burnt skin rubbing off all over my skirt. I follow behind him on the way back to our area, I began to feel nothing. Anticipation of our alone time, what next. Sigh!