The Coat

Im a summer baby born in the peek heat our little river village experiences during our dog says of summer.  During these days us locals can’t even swim in our great river for the heat cooks the river bringing all yuckies to their optimal conditions to create things like beaver fever, yes we know this truth Our fresh water wells and tanks depend on our river.  It’s damn hot!! I came into the world fighting to live.  My father told me the story of my birth many times of the years, never grew old as he told it with a smile even though it was not ideal conditions.  I came into the world blue, no cry, no movement.  No cry.  The seconds became hours as the doctor and nurses nervous working energy began to silently say the unthinkable.  The doctor looked at my young anxious parents and leaned over my wee dying body.  He placed his mouth over mine, plugged my nose and sucked back.  With this a great deal of thickened mucous filled his mouth.  He turns to spit IT on the hospital floor.  The mucous hardly hits the surface and I whimpered a small gulP of air.  As my skin begins to instantly pinken with life.  Welcome to earth!

This was particular birthday was very saddening for me.  I was to be ten and for me this meant I was double digits.  So in my developing brain for some reason I was gonna die.  I was certain of it.  The fear was terrifying. I remember only this birthday party, I hear there was more but I only recall this day.  All my friends from oxbow was coming!  I could smell the cake cooking in the thick dog days air.  I got dressed in my best early ninties psycholelic outfit sprayed and teased those big bangs, I was so excited yet that fear settled into my heart.  I knew I would not live long. I looked into the mirror, I hate mirrors I only see flaws.  The teeth she needed to fix cause I could eat corn through a fence she said.  My hair was to big made my head look fat she joked.  So many compliments that just broke my heart.  I was fat and unsightly a ugly shameful daughter.  I prayed each night that I would grow into beauty so I could rest without such burdens in my heart.  I remember the balloons, those bright balloons all to celebrate this unwanted one, I felt special as o came down the stairs.  I touch all the wrapping paper and twirl the ribons, all for me!  Maybe ten was a beginning to my life.  She was so happy, my heart smiled cause when she was happy we all saw the great in her.  As my friends arrived the party began.  We had koolaid and nachos, pop and sweets we all played and ran as the lights dropped down.  I saw that orange glow of my hand made cake.  Candlelight danced on that happy proud face, I was about to cry my lip quivered as I sat in my special birthday girl chair.  Everyone began to sing “happy birthday to you” wow!  This uniquely gorgeous individual cake made with love by my mom.  That was all I needed those packages no longer held value.  I draw back a big birthday lung of air and blow out those ten candles.  My soul sent out a wish.. I wanted a puppy.

we cut the cake as we all excitedly munched that cake up like locus.  Then I was handed this gift, I knew it was special because her eyes said it, giggling little girl can’t stop smiling.  The strawberry shortcake wrapping paper with a big pink bow held a gift!! Eeeek!  I rip the paper off to find a clothing box, I pick the tape as everyone watched my heart gaining beats by the second.  Oh my gosh!!  It was a real leather coat!  With gold and silver be jeweled metal pins making a sparkly design all over, individually cut tassels jiggled as I picked it up.  I began to cry as I put on my coat.  I felt pretty and special for a moment.

Whispered in my ear could only find it in the big girls section.  We need to talk.

The coat.

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