White Noise

It was a lovely warm spring day the warm sun just started to open the buds of the willow trees, this made me so excited!  I loved this time of year between the mountains along the river that ran past my life.  The willow trees grew these adorable soft grey puffs that in my eyes always resembled a fairies fuzzy friend, always a dreamer here imagination outgrew my wisdom.

i remember clearly as though my heart hugs the warm feelings and blocks the unknown sad feelings again,  I can still feel the twisted furry rope against my palms, the warm breeze over melting ice lifted my hair and spirit crinkling of my splash pants, counting each time I seen my little purple ducky boots.  This homemade swing was my place. My thinking spot a nice quiet place to just relax, shoulders down, armor at ease.  Eyes closed heart towards the warm sun as if the sun rises each time you rise… Shhhhhhh… Those ducky boots plant firmly as everything stopped.  I listen.  The deafening silence becomes more clear, birds flying, singing.  My eyes search for something out of the odd.  I sit until my bottom becomes sore, feet cold.  Shhhhh!  I cover my ears.. Shhhh!! Shake my head try to pop my ears what is going on??  I feel this cold rush run threw my veins like an Iv bag of frozen water.  I’m scared, tears start to welt up.. Shhhhh!!  Shhhhh!!!  It becomes so loud my skull vibrated my ears only listening more intensely to make out anything normal within this unfamiliar humm In my young brain.  Shhhhhhhh!!   Shhhhhhh!!!

HELLO! Softly it arose like a whimper in a drain pipe at the very back of my self.  The noise stopped!   So confused.  So frightened. I sit there waiting,, nothing.  The sun begins to darken down my yawns outweigh my curiosity.  To bed I go tuck myself in and think maybe I’m just making a story Eh.

lids fall over my eyes and the day fades along with the fear.

I was 10 years old when the voice first introduced herself ☀️

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