Blue Eyes

As I stare into the mirror buttoning the blazer, adjusting my collar I stare into what appear to be black eyes without even seeing myself, big breathe.  As I walked the incline towards the future gravel under my patten heels with this sweet sickeningly wonderful scent of Apple blossoms calm my nervous butterflies as though they smelt is too.  Will they see the mess put together in camouflage infront of them? Can I act normal for years as I sit around my future peers?  No one ever likes me I’m weird.  Sigh.. Ok you can do this! Smile, head high you can do this.. It’s not a choice you know this.. Your life is already planned and set before you.  Now wall up weirdo.

I clench my sweaty hands into the leather strap on my perfetly organized professional bag.  Always professional, fool them.. Now get in there.  I feel like I’m about to barf as I walk into a room full of strangers, so not my strong point!  The blinding flickering lights covers the room in a mist that begins to lift as I take another step.  A room full of figures, suits, the sterile environment I expected my heart to eaten by.  My eyes snap around to find anything comforting  I still can’t focus, I’m about to faint yet I push along.  All of a sudden as if the room stopped he looked up at me over his wire frame glasses.  Those husky white eyes took my last breathe away.  I awkwardly stumble into a seat continuously having my eyes come back to those blue eyes.  I nervously unpack yet I know I’m looking lik a duck here.  Cool and calm on the outside while paddling for my life under the water.  Oh shit I’m sweating, unbutton blazer.  I stare forward at the board, crisp white board ok he’s not looking.  I watch him unpack his bag.  His black hair with swirls, I love that.  his hands are so soft no callus, no grease he had embalmers glove hands.  Silky soft I knew it, I lived this.  He sits back in the chair with an intoxicating amount of arrogance.  I really loved that, wow!  Now I’m intrigued!  Never have I been intrigued by another person like this.  He looks up and immediately in my direction,  as I drop my eyes I feel his peircing stare looking at me.  Ok this guy is serious so dark and mysterious yet he radiated this warm energy even though he scared me a bit.  What is this?

A gorgeous chiseled tall woman enters the room we all lock our eyes on her.  As she began to introduce herself we settled into our unassigned assigned seats we would call work for a few years.  I wanted to look, I could still feel him being drawn my way, those blue eyes.  Stop this foolishness I giggle inside, your to be married, you have a life… I look.  He’s intentively listening and I familiarize myself with his features, it’s part of being called towards the Funeral Industry we see everything about a persons face.  He’s so handsome! He’s small statutes yet those shoulders look so strong I studied his movements, he’s elegant I love this a manly yet none threatening man?   Love the strength I. Being exactly who you are and this dark dreamy cup of my desires knew it.  Those blue eyes.

the clock ticks, ticke ticks I can hear everything it’s a inconvenient symptom.  Seems like hours pass and all I could think was DONT look you can’t break this assembled life  plan so many depend on me.  It builds like the need to push the red button that says don’t,, I look.  I’m in trouble oh my!

those blue eyes!

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